Finding Weird Stuff

So, here's the thing; all day long, I find myself looking for weird stuff for my customers. I've gotten pretty good at being able to locate some pretty crazy stuff, not to mention that I end up finding it in more than one place! Between the 'net, the phonebook, and my bottomless brain I'll betcha I can find it for you, too.

The craziest thing this week was actually pretty tame; I had to find a toilet seat warmer. Now, funny as it sounds, there are a lot of folks who really dislike sitting on icy-cold commodes. Not to mention, some people have medical conditions that make a cold toilet seat painful and uncomfortable. I mean, who'd have thought they made such things? This one was remarkably easy, seeing as there are several companies who make them. But which one to pick? What about features and benefits? Price? Can a large person use it regularly without breaking it? These are the big questions that The Stuff Finder gets to look into. Turns out to answer most of these questions you either have to speak Mandarin Chinese, be familiar with icy butts or be a toilet guru. Hmm. I'm not claiming expertise in any of these areas, so I set out to learn... it's all about the can, man.

Faster than calling my friend Andy Wang, real estate agent extraordinaire, and asking him to call Yung Tien Industrial Co., Ltd. in "TA TU HSIANG, TAICHUNG HSIEN, TAIWAN, R. O. C." and asking these pertinent questions about their "Healthy Toilet Seat Warmer" (No More Icy-Touch!), I turned to THE WEB. An American company, Hogue Consumer Products in Paso Robles, California. Turns out there are quite a few different models of toilet seat warmers available to the savvy online consumer. Hogue has a heated model for only $80! A bit distasteful, however, is the "easy to clean" directions, which suggests that the consumer may "quickly release and put it in the dishwasher!" Uh, I have one thing to say about that... WHAT THE HECK???!!! EW, ICK, GACK. What the heck are they thinking?

Other choices ranged in price from a $217 model from Kohler, a well-respected manufacturer of all things bathroom-y to a Brondell heated bidet for a mere $459. My personal favorite was the CleanButt BidetSpa. Yup, you heard it right. Major props to this company for callin' it like it is! I love that you know exactly what these folks are selling; for $649 you can convert your existing toilet into a bidet (for the less cosmopolitan readers out there, that's a butt washer). It even comes with a wireless remote control (!) that, according to the website, adds "a sophisticated grandeur to any bathroom."

The ultimate in toileting luxury is the TOTO Neorest Elongated One-Piece Toilet. With features like an integrated front and rear washing system, heated seat with temperature control, warm-air dryer function, remote-control and integrated air deodorizer you might never want to "get off the pot." Of course, you may not be able to afford to with the $4,125 price tag.

I sure did find out a lot more about heated toilet seats than I ever thought I would. It was enlightening and a whole lot of fun finding out that the potty could be so comfy!